Desi Twitter User’s Guide to “Beating” the European Heatwave
“Should I compare you to a summer day? The Indians would say no before you could quote it to them and now the Europeans would do the same. Much of Europe is currently in the grip of a scorching heatwave. According to an AFP report, heat waves like this, or the record-breaking heat wave experienced by India and Pakistan in March, are a sure sign of climate change, experts say. A Twitter user going by @Kav_Kaushik offered a sarcastic guide to how to survive the hot weather, with the authority of someone who grew up in India.
The Twitter user’s thread included everything imaginable and unimaginable: making a pact with Pezazu, the Demon of Darkness, eating curry, writing Diaspora poetry, watching a movie starring Salman Khan, everything is included. Here are some interesting bits from the thread:
Hi Indian here! I grew up with lots of hot summers, so here are my top tips for surviving the hot weather ()
— kav (@Kav_Kaushik) July 18, 2022
3. Write Diaspora poetry about how the heat of the British summer reminds you of the mangoes of your homeland. use gcse eng syllabus a lot of money to be air conditioning unit
— kav (@Kav_Kaushik) July 18, 2022
5. Watch a Bollywood movie starring Salman Khan. It will be so mind-numbing that your brain will work at 10% capacity and therefore you will conserve energy. That’s how we do it in India
— kav (@Kav_Kaushik) July 18, 2022
7. If you are a woman, pluck every inch of hair on your body (not on your head or your eyebrows), scientifically it will warm you up. but no one wants to be exposed to your coarse arm hair in a patriarchal society. if you are a man: do nothing, it’s your world.
— kav (@Kav_Kaushik) July 18, 2022
Thanks for reading! don’t forget to leave an ice cream outside for your trash men tonight and mum if you’re reading: this is all a joke. I’m really grateful for the exorcism!
— kav (@Kav_Kaushik) July 18, 2022
Looks like the catastrophic weather conditions are here to stay, so we’ll need more humor to cope. “Every heat wave we experience today has been made warmer and more frequent due to human-induced climate change,” said Friederike Otto, senior lecturer at the Grantham Institute for Climate Change in the UK. ‘Imperial College London.
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