LYNDA HIRSCH ON TELEVISION — GOSSIP, by Lynda Hirsch

Spoiler alert: It’s been a bad week. On my forehead, COVID. Ugh. I’m done with it now, but it crushes you like the rock falling on Wile E. Coyote. I am fine now. Please people, mask up, get vaccinated and get the booster. Yes, I did all three, but this breakthrough broke. Mine lasted two weeks. The good news is that these measures prevented me from using a respirator. This is the major problem. Take these masks. Cover your nose. Failure to do so renders the mask useless. A bit like a condom with a hole.

In the “harder they fall” list, add Rudy Giuliani. Living in New York under his reign as mayor, I’ve seen the good and the bad. The good: As mayor, he handled 9/11 with compassion, poise and much-needed leadership. The Bad: He had some crazy ideas. Instead of hailing a taxi, he wanted taxi drivers to pick up and drop off at a designated location. The city already had that; it’s called a bus. He wanted Asian grocery store owners to take classes on how to be more American. At one point he considered withholding licenses for those who hadn’t taken the courses “we all have to be like those back-slapping people in the United States”. Fortunately, this idea was dead on arrival. Then putting his hand on his crotch during a Sacha Baron Cohen prank wasn’t a pretty sight. Or the moment her dye job ended up running down her face. Next week could be his biggest slip. He is a guest on “The Masked Singer”. Two of the judges were so stunned that they left in protest. They finally came back.

This week, Whoopi Goldberg, the lead host of “The View,” made a comment that upset tons of viewers and caused co-hosts, former co-hosts and critics to speak out against her statement. She said the holocaust was not about the Jewish race but “man’s inhumanity to man.” Ana Navarro (Please hire her full time!) was the first to denounce this statement. All the other co-hosts followed. Goldberg would not back down. In fact, it doubled. ABC, the parent company of “The View,” did what parents do: they kicked it out. She has to stay in her room for two weeks. She took to social media to apologize. She is still absent. I bet the day she comes back, the ratings for “The View” will skyrocket.

CNN boss Jeff Zucker has gone from kingmaker to court jester. A relationship with a former colleague has been revealed. He was banned and thrown into the TV mote. It seems like it’s not so much about the relationship, as it didn’t show up when Chris Cuomo was sent packing when it was revealed he had met several women.

Zucker is an interesting guy. He went from “Today Show” producer to head of NBCUniversal in a matter of years. During this time, he twice battled colon cancer. A few years ago he had heart surgery. Because of these illnesses, it only took time not much longer than a PSA.

In Katie Couric’s memoir, she revealed a soap opera moment. The relationship between Zucker and his lover was a water cooler conversation. Around this time, Zucker moved his married lover into the building he shared with his wife. I wish I had been in the elevator when the two women pressed the down button.

Now I have an earworm. You know that song that keeps singing in your ear? My piece is the theme of “Two and a half men”. “Men, men, men…” What drives men, who seem to have everything they could possibly want – fame, money, power – to waste their lives? As my mother used to say, “smart and smart and stupid and stupid”. Pay attention to what you are doing. It always comes back.

To learn more about Lynda Hirsch and read articles by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.